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That was very self-deprecating of you. Just because you live in the country now doesn't mean you should be getting about identifying with a cow on a soapbox. Try to imagine you're a unicorn going around stabbing covid barkers and other stupid people with your head, which is something you do very well, metaphorically speaking.

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But I thought unicorns were all sweetness and light (y'know, puppydogs and unicorn rainbow farts and all that). You've shattered my dreams! (Cue Greta-face.)

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Because the unicorn is a fantasy creature, you may be interested to know just who can adopt it and why. So be creative and think of yourself as the 'Avenging Unicorn'. Put that horn to good use!

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unicorn

https://youtu.be/xFrkrb2GwSI

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